Don’t call 999 or put out the bins in case your neighbours report you to the police.

July 12, 2013

in Personal

So, this just happened:

Now, for all I know, this guy could be a creep. He could be a murderer, maybe he puts out people’s bins for them because he’s depositing the remains of his victims there. Maybe he keeps child porn in his flat and his interest in emergency calls is paranoia that he’s going to be found out. Maybe he’s mowing their lawns because- you know what, I can’t think of a creepy reason for mowing people’s lawns for them other than you want the area you live in to look neat.

But it seems to me that this guy is willing to do his neighbours’ maintenance for them and they seem to be happy or at least apathetic about that situation. I’ve known several neighbours who are finicky about that sort of thing and instead of leaving passive-aggressive notes demanding people maintain their properties to their standards, just put out bins, mow lawns, clip hedges etc. Maybe this guy is like that. Maybe he’s a nosy busybody who’s developed a case of serious hypochondria in the last few days.

I don’t know. Presumably Carolyn has no idea either, seeing as the worst she could come up with was his bin caught fire once. But is giving off the appearance of being a good neighbour, or apparently just being old, is enough to make you seem dangerous enough to contact the police instead of walking three feet from your door and saying “Hello, I saw the ambulances out last night, are you alright?”

O tempora, o mores!

 

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