A Day in the Life of Jesus

Originally posted to Facebook in 2007.

While cataloguing my book collection recently, I stumbled across a book I haven’t looked at in years. “A Day in the Life of… Creative Writing” is a collection of short stories from talented primary school children across East Anglia on the theme of “A day in the life of…”. Subjects ranged from a bee, a dying macaw, Charizard, Christina Aguilera, a pack of ice lollies and a carpet. It’s all rather sweet if undeveloped.

But the reason I own a copy of this book, as I’m sure you’ve guessed by now, is because my primary school entered 30 of us into the selection process and an eleven year old me was one of the four chosen to be published. My subject? Was it a day in the life of a carrot, a policeman, Benjamin Franklin, or a spoon? No. At eleven years old, I chose to write about a day in the life of Jesus.

And we are not talking the children’s Jesus who smiles a lot, walks on water and fills the land with his father’s glory. No, my story touched on Jesus’ baptism, the Incarnation, the Atonement, the problem of evil, and the corruption of the Pharisees. Not bad for someone who still played with teddies.

I was born to be a theologian.

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A Day in the Life of Jesus

Blessed four people, healed ten beggars, gave a lesson, made three blind men see and disrupted one of Dad’s corrupted temples. Also was baptised by John the Baptist. A holy man if ever I saw one. He was born the same time as I came out Mary’s (my mortal mother) womb that I had nestled in for nine months (got a bit bored of the view) under the orders of Dad, who said that I was going to be born of a mortal woman whether I liked it or not and if I didn’t like it I would have to go anyway because I had to purge the world of some evil and then die for it. I asked why. He said never mind why, and I had to be on my best behaviour or he would send my favourite pigeon Whitey down to Lucifer, the head devil. I was so good that Dad sent Whitey down to Earth as I was being baptised and said “My dear son”. John was so totally and utterly gobsmacked, he nearly fainted. I was so pleased I could hardly contain my excitement. I had to hurry to disrupt the temple with their money grabbing greedy priests before bedtime and went to sleep looking forward to the next day.

Sarah McCulloch (11)
Glenarm College

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