Ho.
Ho.
No.
Ho.
Ho.
Ho.
Now stop being silly and get on with making your day beautiful, wherever you are.
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You are currently browsing the archives for the Religion category.
Ho.
Ho.
Ho.
Ho.
Ho.
Now stop being silly and get on with making your day beautiful, wherever you are.
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A friend of mine runs a blog call Singing Garden. Below, she explains why she chose that name.
Something magical and seminal happened while I was living in Israel. Something I had to work for years to understand, myself, and which I have tried to describe to others many times with gnawing dissatisfaction. My words, which usually serve me so well, seem to fail in their limited capacity to distinguish such magic, such otherworldliness, such magnitude of scope, such divinity.
(more…)

“A friend of mine, Rabbi Leibel Benjaminson, described a self-improvement (“mussar”) group in which he participated. In order to improve their sense of gratitude, everyone in the group was to select one thing that they do frequently – and then think for 10 minutes about its ramifications.
My friend drank one cup of coffee every morning, and he chose this cup of coffee as his subject. He felt it would be easier to work on the assignment if he wrote his thoughts on paper. To his surprise, the 10 minutes quickly turned into 35. He wrote about how the coffee beans grew in Brazil. Someone planted the trees and took care of them until the coffee reached maturity. Then workers picked the beans from the trees. The beans were roasted and ground, and packed for shipping. He described all the work involved in the shipping industry which allowed the coffee to reach the United States. This alone required hundreds of people. Finally, the coffee arrived at the port in Haifa from where it was taken to his grocery story in Jerusalem.
He wrote about the gas range that boiled the water, and the match he used. (And how much easier it is to use a match rather than have to rub two sticks together!) He wrote about how the gas reached his home and what was necessary to build his stove. He wrote about the water kettle that whistled to let him know that the water had boiled. The milk he added required the work of many people from the time it left the cow until it reached his coffee cup.
At the end of 35 minutes, he saw he had not even begun to write about the actual cup, saucer, or teaspoon nor the table he placed it on, or the chair he sat on!!
Through this exercise, he became aware of so many things he’d been taking for granted. This awareness led him to a most intense spiritual experience. His prayers for the next few weeks were permeated with a deep feeling of gratitude to the Almighty.
Would you like to have a similar experience? Try it today: Pick something that you enjoy doing, and write as much as you can about what there is to appreciate.”
Extract from “Gateway to Happiness”, p.43, by Zelig Pliskin.
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So, Harold Camping, a small-time Christian preacher told us that the end of the world was coming last Saturday, when 200 million Christians would rise up off the ground and go to heaven while the rest of us mooched around murdering each other until Judgment Day in October sometime.
Pretty much everyone who doesn’t listen to his radio shows found the concept pretty damn funny, lots of people held rapture parties, etc. More serious minded Christians pointed out that the New Testament is pretty clear on the fact that you can’t predict the end of the world by adding some numbers together – Jesus himself says “But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.” (Matt. 24:36). But mostly, we all took the piss. It’s a funny idea.
Come 5pm my time, I posted on a friend’s Facebook Wall, “So, um, you haven’t felt the urge to float upwards at all?” I was expecting some kind of response along the lines, “Oh, Harold Camping is an idiot, something-interesting-about-said-person’s-views-on-eschatology” I was mildly surprised to get the response “fuck off you rude bitch” and then to be promptly deleted as a friend. I was even more surprised to get the response when I asked what he was doing by Facebook message that “you compared me to the lunatic fringes. I am completely fed up with your lack of respect and rudeness. Mocking my faith is completely unnacceptable and reveals you as the hypocrit you are.”
Now, setting aside the comment I could make about someone expressing their frustration with my “rudeness” by telling me to “fuck off you rude bitch” and then calling *me* a hypocrite, I must take issue with these accusations. I am deeply religious, I was well before this person decided to start church shopping, and perhaps my relative confidence in my identity is why I can take criticism of my faith and he can’t. Because take criticism I do, and I have yet to delete anyone for it (except for that one person who started claiming that Hamas had the right to demand the UN teach Holocaust denial in Gazan schools, but that’s less criticism and more anti-semitism).
I’m not a fan of Christianity, I won’t pretend that is not the case. However, the reality is that a lot of people profess Christianity, including some people I love dearly, and if we don’t find a way of politely turning a blind eye to the fact that Christianity itself states it is incompatible with everything else, we end up with crusades and jihads and segregated communities, and I don’t really think that anyone wants that.
But that doesn’t mean pretending that freedom of religion trumps freedom of expression. You have the right to go to church, to take communion, and to really, earnestly, believe that everyone around you is going to hell, and I have the right to call you an idiot and take you to task for corrupting my scriptures. But conversely, I have a right to go to synagogue and believe that God created a world-wide flood several thousand years ago for which there is little to no archaeological evidence and that’s why I can’t work on a Saturday, and you have the right to tell me that I am an idiot and take me to task for that.
Faith is not, and should not be, exempt from scrutiny, humour, criticism, and parody, no more than any other subject which you or I may hold dear, be that politics, family, or relationships. You may call me up on any of my beliefs and, believe me, a lot of people do. To call me a hypocrite for criticising Christianity when I field regular hostile questioning about everything I believe from my wide circle of outspoken atheist friends is simply to misunderstand what that word means.
Although I got deleted, a few friends commented on the wallpost saying that he had overreacted somewhat. In response, this person wrote “that is like writing “looking forward to your 72 virgins?” on a muslims wall when there is a terrorist attack. completely unnacceptable.” Indeed, writing such a thing would be completely unacceptable. Making an insensitive and tactless joke following a highly emotive tragedy, however, is not exactly analogous to making a knowing joke following a mildly embarrassing incident by someone else to whom the recipient has a link. An actual analogy to the 72 virgins comment would be writing “I’m planning to start a bakery and I hear you have some ovens going spare?” on my wall on Holocaust Memorial Day, or “What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting? It takes only one nail to hang a painting!” on a Christian’s wall on Good Friday. Those are just lame and offensive.
A much more appropriate comparison would be posting on my wall, “so, how can I serve you, O overlady?” the day after Ovadia Yosef, a respected but ultra-Orthodox/Haredi rabbi, delivered a sermon in which he said that the sole purpose of non-Jews was to serve Jews. I can tell you now that my reaction would not have been “fuck off” but “lol, yeah, bit embarrassing, that guy…”, maybe do a little debunking if I felt like it. Telling someone that they’re a “rude bitch”? Perhaps not. An (atheist) friend who does Physics noted that an analogy for him would be “if someone asked me how the search for those 7 extra dimensions was doing”. You can’t disavow members of your own community, but you can fail to defend them when they do something demonstrably stupid, and dare I say it, you can take a joke aimed at them in good humour. Such has been the reaction of most Christians I have spoken to about Harold Camping, because of course I didn’t single out this person for my “abuse”, as I am sure he would like to believe.
I’m pretty sure that this person, whom a few friends have seen since and he seems somewhat embarrassed about this entire episode, wants to believe that he is persecuted for his faith, as he further commented that I deemed his “”Christian views towards forgiveness” (paraphrase) as “anti-woman.”". I was genuinely saddened by that one, because I said no such thing. In a Facebook post I had made on a book extract by a woman who had had her rapist jailed twenty years after he and two of his friends had drugged and raped her at a party, I had actually said that his accusing a woman he had never met of lying about her trauma after rape was sexist. (No, I’m actually not making that up. He wrote “just because someone is a rape victim, it doesn’t mean she is a portal to objective truth, her claims must be subject to the same scrutiny as his … Her attempts to belittle his ‘spiritual awakening’ indicated to me someone who doesn’t comprehend the depths that a person can change.”) I then said that his motivations for accusing her of such a thing derived from his Christian convictions, which were blinding him to the facts actually presented in the article.
There are some very interesting analyses out there to say that Christian attitudes towards forgiveness *are* anti-woman (because some denominations encourage women to stay silent about rape, assault and other abuse in the name of “forgiving” their attacker, who are often fellow Christians – the Amish are especially bad for this). However, that really wasn’t the point, and I have no desire to promote or develop such ideas further – forgiveness is important for any traumatic event committed by or against you, but it’s not an excuse for inaction. If someone cannot recognise that refusing a woman justice after rape because her attacker wrote her an insincere letter saying sorry, then they cannot recognise how they are perpetuating a blame culture in which women are expected to just deal with men’s “uncontrollable” desires and consequent begrudging apologies. And that is really just sad for all of us who have to keep living in the world that culture creates.
I’m really not kidding that not actively batting down excuses for rapists encourages rape, and I think that it is deeply hypocritical to claim that Christianity is the most moral and true religion while advocating policies that I cannot help but see as actively immoral. Allow me to demonstrate this and quote a good article entitled, “Feminism 101: Helpful Hints for Dudes, Part 3”
A lot of people accuse feminists of thinking that all men are rapists. That’s not true. But do you know who think all men are rapists?
Rapists do.
They really do. In psychological study, the profiling, the studies, it comes out again and again.
Virtually all rapists genuinely believe that all men rape, and other men just keep it hushed up better. And more, these people who really are rapists are constantly reaffirmed in their belief about the rest of mankind being rapists like them by things like rape jokes, that dismiss and normalize the idea of rape.
If one in twenty guys (or more) is a real and true rapist, and you have any amount of social activity with other guys like yourself, then it is almost a statistical certainty that one time hanging out with friends and their friends, playing Halo with a bunch of guys online, in a WoW guild, in a pick-up game of basketball, at a bar, or elsewhere, you were talking to a rapist. Not your fault. You can’t tell a rapist apart any better than anyone else can. It’s not like they announce themselves.
But, here’s the thing. It’s very likely that in some of these interactions with these guys, at some point or another, someone told a rape joke. You, decent guy that you are, understood that they didn’t mean it, and it was just a joke. And so you laughed.
Or maybe you didn’t laugh. Maybe it just wasn’t a very funny joke. So maybe you just didn’t say anything at all.
And, decent guy who would never condone rape, who would step in and stop rape if he saw it, who understands that rape is awful and wrong and bad, when you laughed? When you were silent?
That rapist who was in the group with you, that rapist thought that you were on his side. That rapist knew that you were a rapist like him. And he felt validated, and he felt he was among his comrades.
You. The rapist’s comrade.
I’m not sorry for making a joke about religion, and I simply don’t have sympathy for people who accuse me of being abusive in abusive messages. I am very grateful that I live in a relatively free society devoid of theocracy, and I’m glad the worst I have to fear is being deleted from Facebook rather than having my head cut off. I think it is a moral imperative for anyone religious who cares about the dignity of the human condition to call sexists sexist when they’re being sexist, regardless of how much it upsets them, because, maybe, one day, they’ll stop. “The most revolutionary thing one can do is always to proclaim loudly what is happening.”
The greatest irony, of course, is that someone who demanded that I forgive an unrepentant rapist apparently couldn’t find it in his heart to forgive me for my “sin”. But I think I can forgive him for that…
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The Rebbe: The Life and Afterlife of Mendel Menachem Schneerson by Samuel Heilman and Menachem Friedman is the first non-hagiographic biography of the final leader of the Jewish Chabad Lubavitch sect. Over the course of forty years of leadership, he turned the tiny Russian sect into a global order whose trademark services, such as Chabad Houses in far-flung areas without a significant Jewish presence and nearly 1500 websites disseminating information on its brand of Judaism, are recognised and utilised by Jews of every creed.

The Rebbe at a Lag B'Omer parade
Lubavitchers are the Jewish guys in fedoras you see wandering around looking like they just walked out the 1950s, if not earlier. Chabad Lubavitch was born in the late 18th century by Shneur Zalman of Liadi, and takes its name from Lyubavichi, the Russian town where the group was based until the early 20th century. The Rebbe became leader of Lubavitch in 1951 after a slow-burning popularity competition with his brother-in-law and died after a stroke in 1992. By the time of his death, he had founded thousands of synagogues, schools, and Jewish institutions of learning. However, such phenomenal expansion cannot entirely hide the fact that the introspective atmosphere of Chabad Lubavitch and the Rebbe’s increasing fixation on the end of the world as we know it, resulted in a movement that acclaimed him as the Messiah in life, and after his inconvenient death, is torn between preserving his memory or awaiting his return.
The Rebbe's tomb next to that of his father-in-law, Rebbe Yosef Yitzchok Schneersohn.
The Rebbe has generated a fabulous amount of controversy, and for good reason – being told that the spiritual leader you idolise and look to as a perfect example of manhood was actually largely uninterested in spiritual leadership and never even gained ordination as a rabbi can never go down well. But it nonetheless cannot be helped: over the course of a good two chapters, I don’t think it can really be disputed that the authors firmly establish that Mendel Menachem Schneerson’s primary motivation in life prior to his move to America in 1941 was not to become a Rebbe, but to become a mechanical engineer. Although correspondence with his father-in-law Rebbe Yosef Yitzchok Schneersohn demonstrates that Mendel Menachem remained thoroughly committed to Hasidic Jewish practice as an individual, he nonetheless chose to spend much of his life outside Jewish communities, studying in institutions in Latvia, Berlin and Paris, forced to move from one place to another as Soviet and Nazi anti-Semitism closed in, leaving a trail of less-than-brilliant transcripts behind him as he was unable to obtain dispensation from attending classes or exams on Shabbat or Jewish festivals. The authors don’t make this point, but certainly I found it worthy of note that by the time the Rebbe finally graduated from a French technical college in 1937, he had been struggling his way through academia for over 15 years.
Spending 15 years on earning a degree implies a kind of tenacity that most of us can only admire. So much more, then, did I feel for the mechanical engineer that never was when the book swiftly goes on to describe the increasing influence of the Nazis and Mendel Menachem’s successful graduation being immediately buried under the urgency of having to flee Europe, and the discovery that in America, being a 39 year old immigrant unable to speak English and holding a hard-earned French degree that no American employer could understand meant that he had little chance of ever actually having the career he had spent so long working towards. Little wonder then, that he finally turned back to the community that welcomed him with open arms as the son-in-law of Rebbe Yosef Yitzchok with an extensive knowledge of Hasidic philosophy and customs. The authors make a link, however, between the Rebbe’s extensive engineering training and the methodical and rigorous manner in which he expanded his previously small and parochial sect. I suspect that that is probably justified.

Up to 4000 emissaries of the Rebbe come together every year for an annual conference to discuss tactics (and take photos).
One thing that is substantially missing from this book is a sense of what Mendel Menachem’s personality was like. He is obviously lauded as a fatherly, insightful, brilliant scholar by his followers, but you get little sense in The Rebbe about what he actually enjoyed doing. Did he have spare time? How did he relax? Who did he talk to about his ministry who wasn’t his long deceased father-in-law? The Rebbe’s influences, as opposed to whom he influenced, is relatively unexplored.
There’s also little hints which are not explored of the less pious side of the Rebbe – for example, the fact that he sued his own nephew over the ownership of the Chabad library, and then, when he won, declared a public holiday for all of his hasidim, which he named “Didan Notzach” or “Our Side Won”, strikes me as being just a little bit vindictive. When, in 1927, the authors are describing the arrest of the Previous Rebbe, Yosef Yitzchok, in Soviet Russia, they note very briefly that Mendel Menachem had been out with the Rebbe’s daughter alone until midnight, mainly to state that the hasidic accounts of the evening gloss over this detail. However, they do so as well. Add also to this the fact that Mendel Menachem and his fiancée dated for nearly six years before they married, and that he trimmed his beard even though the Previous Rebbe specifically demanded his hasidim wear their beards long. The authors draw from these facts an observation that the Rebbe wasn’t heavily involved with the hasidic movement for much of his life – I cannot help but draw from it a certain amount of disrespect and defiance for the people who supported him. The Rebbe’s education was entirely paid for by Rebbe Yosef Yitzchok from Chabad funds, and in return, he refused to wear traditional Hasidic dress to his own wedding reception, customarily an opportunity for the Rebbe to demonstrate his power and influence. Even the authors interpret a minor incident involving the serving of water at the reception to indicate that Rebbe Yosef Yitzchok was embarrassed by his new son-in-law. Perhaps it is difficult to infer attitudes from letters and diaries of the time, but nonetheless, there are some very interesting stories about the Rebbe which seem more significant than the authors are willing to grant space to.

The Sixth Lubavitch Rebbe, Yosef Yitzchok Schneersohn.
The book is evidently intended to dig up back history of the Rebbe that has long been glossed over by his followers, and contains very little information about his religious thought or writings. While I understand that for the sake of space, there is little point in dwelling on the Rebbe’s extensive output (even though much of his work remains unpublished, the published writings and transcripts still run to several tens of thousands of pages), as someone who has very little understanding of hasidic thought, it would’ve been nice if the authors had spent a little longer on explaining what exactly he got up to in his first two decades as Rebbe. This omission means that many questions arose for me in the reading that went unanswered, such as: Why did the Rebbe tell his emissaries to reach out to all Jews, but seemingly delivered all his discourses in Yiddish? How did he acquire enough knowledge of hasidic texts to be able to deliver hour long discourses several times a week for forty years when he never attended a yeshiva? When did he ever find time to write or prepare anything when he was being almost constantly sought out by his hasidim for advice?
It might seem that an inordinate amount of time is spent on his upbringing as opposed to his tenure, but this is actually in proportion to his life. Nonetheless the impact of the Rebbe as Rebbe as opposed to as Mendel Menachem Schneerson was significantly greater, but over 150 pages, I gained little insight into what he actually achieved outside of launching the Mitzvah and Moshiach campaigns. Rabbi Shmuley Boteach gives a brief outline in his Amazon review: “I watched the rebbe lead Lubavitch since I was 9 years old. It was a herculean undertaking with responsibilities that would boggle the mind. It meant keeping up with and responding to sacks of personal letters each week, overseeing a global empire of thousands of Chabad synagogues, schools, teaching colleges, orphanages, and drug rehabilitation centres, most of which the rebbe, through his emissaries, built. Each week he met in the middle of the night with individuals privately to discuss their most personal issues, giving a weekly (and sometimes twice weekly) public oration that lasted, on average, for four hours through which the rebbe gave masterful scholarly discourses without a single written note. Well into his 80s he stood on his feet every Sunday for hours giving thousands of visitors a dollar for tzedakah in order to meet them face to face and inspire them to do good acts.” The sheer size and complexity of the organisation is alluded to but rarely considered. This is a book on the Rebbe, not Chabad, so fair enough, but his involvement with it as it built up around him seems to go unmentioned in favour of his political activity, although surely the Chabad Houses around the world will last much longer.
The Rebbe's image on a poster in Israel.
I wanted this book originally because the Rebbe remains endlessly fascinating to me. Willingly taking on a role that leaves you the absolute authority on spiritual, personal and business matters to hundreds of thousands of men and women who will devotedly go wherever you send them and do whatever you tell them to, must have a very corrupting influence on any man’s psyche. The increasing belief of the Rebbe in his later years that he was the Messiah poses a problem for the authors, who have clearly never been in such a position. They faithfully narrate the story of how the Rebbe, increasingly isolated and without advisors to give him perspective after the death of his wife, encouraged his followers to believe that he was the Messiah waiting to be unveiled and how he struggled to reconcile that position with his encroaching illness and mortality and the fact that the world was stubbornly not ending. But they do not, and cannot, tell me what on earth was going through the Rebbe’s mind – and that I am unlikely to find out.

The flag for the Moshiach campaign designed to hasten the coming of the Messiah.
But I have learned much else besides, and enjoyed it, though other reviewers have not. I would recommend this book to anyone who would like to know more about such an influential figure in Orthodox Judaism today – more biographies are in the process of being written, but this is the first substantial one. Go read it! For those who are very interested in minutiae, you can also read a month long academic deathmatch regarding the book’s content between the authors and Chabad Rabbi Chaim Rapoport here.
Check out the book and its reviews on Amazon here:
And thank you very much to my flatmate Miles for buying me the book for my birthday!
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Sean is a gay third generation Baha’i who has been with his partner for ten years. He kindly agreed to give an interview about his experiences to God Made the Rainbow. This is the third part of a three part interview. Read the first part here and the second part here.

What do it mean to lose your administrative rights as a Baha’i? What impact does that have on someone’s participation in their community?
To lose your Administrative Rights is quite a blow to a Baha’i. Although you are not shunned you cannot attend the 19 Day Feast (which serves as a spiritual, administrative, and social meeting once a Baha’i month), you cannot give to the Baha’i Fund, and you cannot take part in Baha’i elections for Baha’i Administrative bodies. People who loose their Administrative Rights can only attend Baha’i Holy Days. Ultimately most people who lose their Administrative Rights become estranged from their faith community.
The way the law is applied in various Baha’i communities concerning gays and lesbians varies. The interpretation can be as strict as losing your Administrative Rights for being “flagrantly” gay (interpret as being openly gay). The more mature communities just leave their gay members alone as long as they “keep it under the radar”, renounce gay relationships and live lonely celibate lives, or go through therapy and become magically straight!
An interesting fact is that back biting is considered an awful offense like arson, theft, etc., yet my entire Baha’i life I never witnessed anyone losing their Administrative Rights over it: most of the Baha’i world would have to collectively loose thier Administrative Rights if we were going to be playing this game of “Scarlet Letter”.
How do you see the Baha’i faith ultimately resolving the conflict between Baha’i law and homosexuality? Do you think there is an answer?
I believe the future for gays in the Baha’i Faith to be bright. Gays will ultimately will find a place in the Baha’i Faith as their straight Baha’i peers become less homophobic. Baha’i Administrative Bodies will have to re-examine how Baha’i law is applied to gay Baha’is in committed relationships. There will have to be a campaign to educate Baha’is on the harm of homophobia, that homophobia is indeed a form of prejudice that has to be eliminated. Gay Baha’i Gatherings similar to the Black Men’s Gatherings will have to be formed to bring solace to the GLBT Baha’i Community.
Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.
This interview is part of a irregular segment called God Made the Rainbow, promoting inclusive spirituality. Subscribe to SarahMcCulloch.com via Email so you don’t miss future posts! (or via RSS!)
Sean is a gay third generation Baha’i who has been with his partner for ten years. He kindly agreed to give an interview about his experiences to God Made the Rainbow. This is the second part of a three part interview. Read the first part here.

Do you find meaning in Baha’i now? Has your practice changed since coming out?
I still consider myself a Baha’i. There is nothing similar to it out there, the very teaching of “Progressive Revelation” where each world religion is like a chapter of a book (Baha’i being the latest, but not last), our prophecies, and our teachings keep me bonded to the Baha’i Faith. When I came out, initially I was not less active in the city in which I resided; in fact I was elected to our Administrative Body a few years in a row as an openly gay person. As the years passed I was less comfortable sharing my faith with others who knew or asked about the Baha’i stance on homosexuality. How could I share in my faith that teaches those who are in a gay relationship will be spiritually handicapped in the next world? When I moved to the city I currently reside after meeting my partner (whom I have been with for nearly ten years), I contacted my local Baha’i community, and as luck would have it I would be elected to their Administrative Body as well.
My city happens to have the largest gay population per capita in the U.S., so those who would be attracted to the Baha’i Faith for its largely progressive beliefs would be equally turned off with the Baha’i Faith’s stance on homosexuality. I addressed my frustration with my fellow Baha’is in my community; some were understanding, others less so. Ultimately I became inactive in my religious community, seeing that there was no place for openly gay people. To be a gay Baha’i, one cannot be in a gay relationship, gay Baha’is have to deny themselves the basic human need to share their life with someone while their straight peers can lead full lives. It was a very depressing existence leading a double life to remain an active Baha’i. Although I do miss aspects of Baha’i community life, I found that I have to be true to myself.
Is there much of a gay Baha’i community anywhere, similar to the LGBT Christian and Jewish movements? If yes, do you and other LGBT Baha’is find it useful, and if not, do you think one will form?
There is no formal gay Baha’i community life anywhere, though gay Baha’is may meet up on an individual basis. The closest thing gay Baha’is have to a support group is called BNASSA (Baha’i Network on Aids, Sexuality, Addictions and Abuse). BNASSA is an officially sanctioned Baha’i Institute of the National Spiritual Assembly of Canada, and is supported by the National Spiritual Assembly of the United States. BNASSA’s name alone entails a large grouping of “issues”, a far cry from any kind of gay Baha’i support group or Gay Baha’i Gathering. Ultimately GLBT Baha’is will seek each other out and will form support groups or Gay Baha’i Gatherings as a way to bond and share their love for Baha’u'llah.
Black Men’s Gatherings were groups started by African-American Baha’i Men as a way to heal generations of wounds that were afflicted upon the Black Man, to bring them up spiritually as a group, to share their pain, their strengths, and a way to move forward in their communities and families. It is basically a spiritual renewal for them. I think that the GLBT Baha’is need something similar that is equally encouraged by the Baha’i Administration.
Read Part 1 here and Part 3 here.
This interview is part of a irregular segment called God Made the Rainbow, promoting inclusive spirituality. Subscribe to SarahMcCulloch.com via Email so you don’t miss future posts! (or via RSS!)
Sean is a gay third generation Baha’i who has been with his partner for ten years. He kindly agreed to give an interview about his experiences to God Made the Rainbow. This is the first part of a three part interview.

Tell us a little about your background.
I grew up in a very progressive Baha’i household. Both of my parents were active in the Peace Movement and psychedelic music scene in Baltimore, Maryland, and southern California in the late 1960s. I would not consider my parents “Hippies” since they didn’t fit the stereotype of tripping out, living in communes, and love-ins, but they were in pursuit of a new way of life in the turmoil of their generation. My parents knew there was a path that would unite all of mankind in making this a better world, and that path was the Baha’i Faith.
My older sister Erica and I were raised in a very gender neutral environment where my parents put the Baha’i teaching of “the equality of the genders” into practice. My parents thought they were raising a new generation of children, so it was not unusual for my sister and I to play with toys that were stereotypical for the opposite gender.
My parents were always gay friendly and it turns out they named me after a gay friend they had in the early 1970′s. Going through public school I was always harassed for being “different”, called “fag” on a daily basis; this onslaught brought on an undiagnosed depression through high school. My mom knew what I was going through and confronted teachers and principals throughout my time in public school. Around age eleven she asked me if I were in fact gay, and if so she would love me regardless. I thought it such a bold move for a mother to make, but I automatically denied it, my reasoning internally being that if I came out to my family I would be too comfortable and would slip up and come out by mistake at school.
I am glad I never came out until after graduating, there were some brave guys who came out when I was in high school and they were beat up so severely that they were hospitalized (mind you this was the early to mid 1990′s). When I did come out I timed it with the “Ellen” episode where she came out on national TV: my family and I watched the show together and I saw it as an opportunity to bring up the “coming out” discussion. Initially I came out as bisexual thinking it would be easier for my family to understand, but in all honesty it was a stupid idea and made it too confusing for them. They ultimately accepted me as gay.
My family’s acceptance was gradual, but gained momentum as I helped to educate them about the GLBT community. My parents later became active and revitalized their city’s dormant PFLAG [Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays] and are currently very active as gay rights activists in their city. I am very proud of my parents: they are a shining example of acceptance, and a gay child could not ask for a better family all together.
Read Part 2 here and Part 3 here.
This interview is part of a irregular segment called God Made the Rainbow, promoting inclusive spirituality. Subscribe to SarahMcCulloch.com via Email so you don’t miss future posts! (or via RSS!)
A couple of months ago, I left a comment asking for an interview with someone about their experiences of being LGBT and Baha’i at the Gay and Lesbian Baha’i Story Project. The administrator wrote me the following message which she gave me permission to edit for God Made the Rainbow. I was going to edit it to make it a proper entry, but I think the message is worth just republishing in full.

“Thanks for your interest. The situation, briefly, with Baha’is regarding being gay and Baha’i, is that the official Baha’i stance is that treating gays with prejudice and disdain is prohibited (though in reality there is a lot of prejudicial behavior and thinking among Baha’is, which is not punished). Putting one’s sexuality into practice, however, is criminalized for gays – it is against Baha’i law. When Baha’is discuss homosexuality, they often lump it together with arson, theft, murder – all of which are also against Baha’i law and have heavy penalties, including “burning” (for arson). Because there is as yet (thank God) no Baha’i State, with the ability to carry out extreme punishments, the current punishment for homosexual behavior (which is left up to the Universal House of Justice, the highest Baha’i governing body, whose membership is limited to males) consists of potential loss of administrative rights, or perhaps expulsion from the Faith. So it’s a bit of a paradox.
It is understandable that because homosexual behavior is criminalized, naturally Baha’is tend to have prejudicial attitudes about it, despite being told by Baha’i authorities that they should not treat gays with prejudice or disdain. So it’s the old hate the sin, not the sinner theme. Baha’is in general, in my experience, avoid discussing this topic. There are many Baha’is like myself who see the criminalization of homosexuality as contrary to the findings of science, and a strange violation of the Baha’i principle that science and religion must agree, and if they do not, then the religious position is superstition. Gay Baha’is who have chosen to make a life commitment to a same-sex partner and have married in a state or country where it is legal, have at least lost their Baha’i administrative rights – they cannot vote in Baha’i elections, attend Baha’i Feasts (the equivalent of Christian church – a regular devotional service for Baha’is, but where Baha’i business is also conducted), contribute to the Baha’i Fund, hold any office in the Faith, etc. Apologetic Baha’is will say that that is not discriminatory, because any Baha’i, gay or not, who is married without having a Baha’i marriage is subject to loss of administrative rights. Of course gays don’t have the option of a Baha’i marriage (unless they marry a partner of the opposite sex)….and in my experience, straight Baha’is who marry without a Baha’i marriage are often not punished – they are just ignored.
Baha’i teaching considers homosexuality to be a distortion of human nature, and spiritually condemned. Some Baha’is are working to bring a more enlightened view regarding homosexuality to the Baha’i “powers-that-be.” I would not hold my breath waiting for change any time soon, however. Baha’i authorities are quite adamant that their view regarding homosexuality will not change, cannot change.
ADDENDUM: I forgot to mention that the official Baha’i position on homosexuality holds that with the help of a competent physician and prayer and effort, you can “pray the gay away.”
Your project sounds interesting – good luck with it!
Barb”
Visit the Gay and Lesbian Baha’i Story Project.
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